TIME WITH OTHERS

for as long as I can remember I've always had to pump up for humans. they are too stimulating. I want to engage but I think I appear as too intense, or even manic. it is just my way of hyper-vigilance and is natural to me. it causes a sudden rise in blood pressure and glucose and oxygen consumption, a kind of super-awareness that is expensive to maintain. 

I am probably somewhat along the spectrum for autism and so I have always been someone who needs to spend a great deal of time alone, where I have room to inhabit my own thoughts and grow in understanding this life - my life - and time to relax my body and mind fully. 

but I still cherish time with others.

THE JOB OF THE HUMAN

the job of any young human is to try to figure out who you inherently are and then find a way to make that useful, if possible.

you have been dealt a hand. you cannot turn it in to the dealer for a different hand and the devil is that one of the cards you have been dealt is the ability to play a hand, any hand, well or badly.

good luck, amigo.