BEING RIGHT

WHEN I WAS ABOUT TWELVE YEARS OLD MY MOM, WHOM I DIDN'T CREDIT AT THE TIME WITH A VERY STRONG INTELLECT, ASKED ME SOMETHING THAT IN RETROSPECT I REALIZE WAS THE RESULT OF VERY CLEAR OBSERVATION AND AN UNDERSTANDING OF PEOPLE SUPERIOR TO MY OWN: SHE SAID VERY SIMPLY "WOULDN'T YOU RATHER HAVE FRIENDS THAN BE RIGHT?" MY ANSWER WAS IMMEDIATE AND TYPICALLY UNREFLECTIVELY DISMISSIVE: I SAID "IF I CAN'T BE RIGHT AND STILL HAVE FRIENDS THEN THEY'RE NOT MY REAL FRIENDS ANYWAY."

IN MY YOUTH SCHOOL WAS A SORT OF TEMPLE OF RIGHT ANSWERS. I SEEMED FROM THE FIRST TO HAVE THEM IN ABUNDANCE AND WAS SOON TREATED DEFERENTIALLY BY THE SYSTEM, WHICH CONSIDERED THIS FORM OF SOCIAL DOMINANCE EVIDENCE OF "LEADERSHIP ABILITIES". I WAS ALSO ALWAYS VOTED CLASS PRESIDENT WHEN WE BECAME OLD ENOUGH FOR SOME CIVIC LESSONS AND GENERALLY OVERCOMPLIMENTED FOR MY CLASSROOM PERFORMANCE. I THINK THIS ROBBED OTHER STUDENTS SOME OF THEIR NATURAL CONFIDENCE AND SHIFTED IT TO ME WHERE IT QUICKLY BECAME OVERCONFIDENCE, A BURDEN WHICH WAS UNSUSTAINABLE. I NEVER UNDERSTOOD WHY PEOPLE WOULD BE UPSET AT HAVING THEIR IDEAS, AND ESPECIALLY THEIR FACTS, CHALLENGED. I DID NOT CONSIDER THIS AN ATTACK ON THE PERSON AT ALL, BUT MERELY ON THE SUBJECT AT ISSUE.

THIS PARTICULAR BLINDNESS HAS FOLLOWED ME ALL
 MY LIFE.